Dear UPS

Riddle me this: If I am not home for you to deliver to during business hours and your pick-up center is not open on Saturdays, how in the world am I supposed to get my package from you?

Additionally, you yet again left a notice on my door claiming that it was your second attempt to deliver to my house. Really? Because I would think that I would have noticed the large piece of sticky paper that you affix to my front door if you had in fact attempted to deliver to my house before yesterday.

Since this is your second transgression of the exact same manner, not to mention some other hoops you put me through when I had a front desk in my apartment building whose sole purpose was pretty much to sign for packages for residents, yet you still on occasion would refuse to leave my package, I will now be inquiring to see if my wine clubs will ship through your competitor, FedEx. At least their center is open on Saturdays so I have some chance of rescuing my stuff.

I believe that you purposefully do this to me on long weekends, as the last time this happened it was also a long weekend, when my wine is going to have to sit in your warehouse for an extra three days, rotting because you clearly do not cater to people who god forbid, don’t get home before 7pm from work. I’ll see you on Tuesday, when I will have to leave work early to retrieve my wine.

Regards, a very unsatisfied customer,